LGBTTQQAAM (What’s the ‘M’ Stand for?)
Minneapolis, MN, June 2013
In the ever evolving and lengthening chain of
LGBTTQQAA* queer social DNA strands, it
is perhaps time to add a new and relatively surprising letter.
Anyone who has frequented gay bars on a
regular basis over the last 6-months has noticed a surprising new trend –
straight, non-homosexual, single, and often, HOT, HOT, HOT ex-military men and
women.
It seems the hottest and newest addition to
the queer community is ‘M’ for military.
Less than two years ago, was still under Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DADT), a policy
that theoretically kept the US military out of the private lives of gay and
lesbian service members, AS LONG AS
those service members kept their private lives out of the US military. On 20 Sept, 2011, President Obama ended DADT.
BUT
who would have dared think that the end of DADT would open gay and lesbian bars
on the home front to an invasion by straight or heterosexual service
members?
Speaking to some in the ‘M’ community at bars
as diverse as Charlies and Cell Block in Chicago and Town House and 19 in
Minnesota, one comes to understand the natural attraction of the gay bar for
returning soldiers.
Primarily, it seems that many heterosexual
returning soldiers seek out gay bars for the same reasons gays do… well, not to
cruise and score on members of the same-sex, but rather for the sanctuary and
adult atmosphere the gay bars provide.
Many soldiers left home no more than kids,
but after one or even a few postings overseas, they have returned us as adults,
and many of them as single adults. The
aforementioned list of bars has one commonality – these gay bars tend to be
gathering places for a community of single adults who just want a cold beer,
some interesting conversation, perhaps a sports game on tv… and a place to be.
Oh many times, I am sure, the ‘M’ crowd is to
be found at the local hetero-cruising grounds… but sometimes, it seems, they
too want to get away from the cruising, drinking games and mass partying,
searching out more of a local ‘social club’ atmosphere.
Many in the ‘M’ community are returning from
overseas as adults… much older than the college frat boys and girls who
populate the singles bar scene in most large cities. Sometimes, it seems, a common age, outlook
and singleness, are more important for making friends and feeling free to just
hang out with people, than is a common gender identity.
And if you haven’t notice, most gay bars are
still much more diverse than are many heterosexual hangouts.
