Spring is unquestionably
my favorite season in Minnesota. The
weather is near-perfect; the mosquitoes have yet to hatch; and all the world is
outdoors in the warming sun. It is the
time to dig out our softball equipment, to oil up our inline-skates, and to
think about adopting the perfect pet.
Cute, cuddly, faithful, and attentive to
our every mood, pets offer us unconditional love, constant companionship, and a
sense of security.
On bright summer days, they energize us to
go forth and greet the world, while on grayer days, they make good listeners,
never failing to take our side, no matter how outrageous or inane our behavior.
But, realizing that I travel far too
frequently to tend to a pet adequately, I have arrived at a mature
decision: I need to be around long
enough to form an adult relationship with another rperson before I endeavor to
adopt a pet.
Yes, pet ownership is healthy and
desirable, but as the local Humane Society can point out, taking responsibility
for a pet is a big step, a larger task than most of us realize. Before you adopt, you need to be ready for the
downside.
I have had many friends who have found they
lack the time, finances, or maturity to provide for their pet’s needs properly.
Human relationships have their
responsibilities as well. They have
their downs as well as their ups.
In our current rush to pursue
queer-marriage rights, we need to be aware of the same considerations.
We agree that the queer community is ready
for legalized marriage commitments, but “adopting” a spouse can make pet issues
pale in comparison. We need to identify
clearly our moral and legal obligations before we pursue this human
responsibility.
Are we ready for the consequences: divorce, alimony payments to ex-lovers,
ambiguous common-law arrangements, and expensive settlement agreements?
Do our “open-though-committed”
relationships then become bigamous, polygamous, or simply adulterous?
Should extramarital lovers be granted
certain rights and recognitions?
Should a “friend with benefits” be granted
visiting rights to the cat?
Certain gay-marriage opponents already have
set their sights on the concept of no-fault divorce. L You could be stuck
forever with that person you picked up at the bar – or that person with you.
Marriage should be seen as fun and
enjoyable – an arrangement to be desired.
Just remember that when you enter into a
legal commitment with someone, you cannot just shut the door on responsibility
and walk away.
Original published
29 April – 12 May, 2005
Lavender
Magazine, v 10 No 259
Minneapolis,
Minnesota
