Takeover of the Gnomes?

Indian Balsam (c) Ray Woods

It is the end of the world as we know it - it can only foretell the extinction of all taste and (superior) discrimination vis-a-vis gardens.  Alas, England's 100th annual Chelsea Flower Show, THE premier decorative botanical exhibit in the world has allowed ... garden gnomes in.  And not just one or two.  Oodles - decorated by celebs.  The NY Times was so surprised they gave the little twerps a major front page story.  And not only the Times - the Chicago Trib reports you can buy gnome garden furniture (not for them;  for you!)  Cutesy-pie little tables made from bent-over little men and the like.  Oh, the horror!  (Do not send me e-mails or texts or tweets saying they're in your garden.  I.  don't.  want.  to.  know!)

Here's this column's rant:  unfinished parkways.  Folks, if you're going to put something in your parkway, fine.  Just don't leave it hanging.  Three hostas and just dirt; or one small patch of groundcover and a geranium;  or 10 impatiens (you'll be sorry - they're sick) and 10 square yards of red mulch.  Good God Gertie - if you haven't the time to do it right put in some spreaders - old-fashioned daylilies, false lamia, fallopia, petasites. Almost anything, just not half done.  As an example of the correct, tho' extreme, way to do it - I delivered some of my Indian Balsam babies (immigrant impatiens not suject to mildew) to a friend who lives in the enclave called "The Villa" on Chicago's north side.  Coincidentally The Villa which consists of bungalows and Arts and Crafts houses was having an all-neighborhood garage sale.  Trooping thru (and picking up some copper-coated metal planters - 4 bucks - from which I'll scrape the interior rust & paint with spar varnish) I got to check out gardens.  There were some doozies but people told me to check out the parkway at Harding and Avondale.  The street runs along a wooded berm (the Kennedy) on one side.  For half a block on the other side, a gentleman - no one knew his name -has planted his parkway and adjacent yard like The Forest Primeval.  People said it was magical and it was - two steps in and you were no longer in Chicago but a long pathway from "Green Mansions."  That was a pathway done right!

I've been dipping into Page Dickey's book, "Embroidered Ground."  Altho' she is apparantly rich and has lots more ground than any of us she is no snob.  The book about the gardens of her home in up-state New York is a good resource for checking out growth habits (flowering, shade tolerance, height, etc.) of many shrubs and trees:  viburnums, daphnes, fothergilla, dogwoods and many others.  If it'll grow there it'll grow here in Chicago.

Did your tulips and daffs last longer than usual?  This very cold spring was like a flower cooler at a florist.  It'll be interesting to see what happens this summer.  Some of my Indian Balsam are big enough to bloom now but they don't usually do it till July.

If you're into really big plants there's a new reality show about Pete Nelson who builds tree houses for grownups.  The houses and the trees they're in are magnificent.  The show "Tree House Men" will be on Animal Planet.

This month's recipe is totally politically incorrect, full of things you've been told it was declasse to consume.  It was given to me by a friend, Eileen Curry, Aka "Bunny" who was a famous Chicago madam.  I realized years later this particular salad was a Depression concoction:

      Peas and Cheese Salad

      Ingredients:  head of iceberg lettuce, large can of peas, a couple of green onions, several stalks of

      celery, bag of cubed cheddar cheese, cup of (real) mayonnaise, salt and pepper.

      To do:  drain peas, rip lettuce into small chunks, coarsely chop onions and celery.  Toss these things

      with the cheese, mayonnaise and salt and pepper.

Hold the presses - this just in:  The origin of garden gnomes, says the NY Times is extremely odd.  In the 18th century during the Romantic era (of gardens and architecture besides music) rich aristocrats with large estates would have small picturesque huts built and hire real live geezers to be their resident hermit for local color, don'cha know.  When the hermits got uppity and charged too much for the local gentry they were replaced by little bearded statues which morphed after a bit into garden gnomes.  (However, just because they have an aristocratic background doesn't mean they're in good taste!)

Spiderwort courtesy Iowa Extension Service

Even my own garden which I've had for years surprises me.  Seeing spiderwort blooming in many of the gardens at the Villa I wondered why mine in my parkway (which I check 4 times a day.  Not obsessive at all) wasn't performing.  I sulked all the way home but when I went to bawl the lazy suckers out they were all blooming.

I was walking on Clark Street and someone had uprooted the bulbs in a business's planter & thrown them on the ground.  I stuck them in my pockets (hurrah for cargo pants) and planted them here and there in my yard.  I'll get a lot more later.  A neighbor who runs a small garden business (and who has staff) uses (many) tulips as annuals at her own place.  She promised to have her guys deliver them to my place.  (I may have to heel them into pots to ripen a bit but, hey, 200 free bulbs!)

Whine, whine, whine! Will it ever be summer?  You know, three warm days in a row?  (On the 4th such day I will, of course, whine about how hot it is.)  Go out and plant - that'll make everything better.

~ The Fairy Gardener