Our Proud Pride!

    WOW!  A GREAT big thank-you to Anthony Whelihan, for our best Lavender Pride Edition cover ever, a 3-D masterpiece; to Mavrik Realty, Miller Lite, Malibu Passion Fruit, and Wilde Roast Cafe for sponsoring Lavender's Summer of Pride(TM).

    As a GLBT community, we clearly are showing our pride.

    June is the month of Pride, an annual celebration of who we are and who we are becoming.

    Pride reports literally are pouring in from all over the world.

    Brazil is putting on the world's largest GLBT festival.  Many Eastern European cities are planning their first events ever.  Asia officially has awakened to the gay consciousness.

    All is not color and pageants, however. 

    GLBT communities in fundamentalist Muslim nations still are being persecuted with imprisonment and beatings. 

    Even int eh world's most free societies, kids continue to be ridiculed, if not physically harassed, for being different.

    With few exceptions, civil and religious authorities do not recognize gay marriages.

    At the North Star Classic in Eagan over Memorial Day Weekend, it hit me.  We have moved beyond having pride to becoming [a] pride -- a worldwide family of men and women who know each other, look out for each other, and enjoy each others' company.

    Think of it:  Throughout the world, we have our own embassies, in the way of GLBT bars, cafes, and coffee shops.

    As a gay male, I am as at home in the Marais of Paris, the clubs of Berlin, or the bars in Sydney as I am here in the Twin Cities. 

    We fall in and out of love with men and women from Canada, France, Korea, the United Kingdom, Panama, and Israel, not to mention the east and left coasts of the United States.

    We even have our own international games.

    At the North Star Classic, I played for a team from Chicago that is a sort of family, with members from Montana, Minneapolis, Los Angeles, and rural INdiana.

    This fall, I will be in San Diego with another family group, this time from Los Angeles, Minneapolis, Toronto, Montreal, Jamaica, and Vancouver. 

    Leafing through the Lavender Lens photographs of the North Star Classic in this issue, it is also apparent that we come in all shapes, sizes, ages, and colors. 

    Diversity among gays, gay supporters, and gay families goes beyond all stereotypes.

    At this summer's Pride events and other gatherings, we celebrate these friendships, and renew this mutual support for another year.

    So, have at it!  Have some fun, and meet some new people.  Just be safe, be responsible, and help build up the Pride for another year.


originally published 10-23 Jun, 2005
Lavender Magazine, v 11, no 262
Minneapolis, Minnesota

We are Family

    As GLBT individuals, we continue to face a lot of struggles in our quest for fairness and equality, but we will make it.

    Just 10 years ago, Lavender was printing its first issue, and some landmark GLBT businesses were accepting their first chamber dollars.

    Sodomy was illegal, and no jurisdiction anywhere, on any level, recognized same-sex marriage rights.

    GLBT persons will make it, because we have the right to do so, and -- as I have written before -- because the community at large needs us to succeed.

    I was reminded of this when I recently brought my toddler nephew, Dietrich, to work.  Lavender is a child-friendly workplace, and his parents had to spend the day in hospital.

    (Let me say kudos to any parent who accomplishes anything while watching a child, no matter how well behaved.  Parenting is hard work.)

    Taking responsibility for Dietrich reinforced to me that we do not need permission to have families -- we already do.  Millions of GLBT folks all over the world serve as moms, dads, uncles, aunts, and grandparents.

    It's a biological fact.  We are all members of families, and that cannot be changed.  As such, we must realize the right [to] openly fill our family roles.

    Dietrich also is a member of a cultural minority group in the Twin Cities. 

    Unless something changes, Dietrich will probably face, as have other members of his family, subtle, even blatant, stereotypes, prejudices, ignorant statements, and pressures to conform to the cultural expectations and values of another majority culture, often to his detriment or exclusion (sound familiar?).

    Though unfortunate, Dietrich's situation is real.  The only way for his tomorrow to improve is for us to confront today issues of social discrimination and bias. 

    The entire society needs the GLBT community to succeed in the pursuit of fairness, because a society that tolerates discrimination and openly codifies injustice into its legal system respects nobody.

    Reinforcing the interrelatedness of our society, Dietrich accompanied me to a recent press conference.

    St Paul Mayor Randy Kelly was supporting a new outreach effort by the St Paul retail community to the young urbanites and condo dwellers, who depend on taxers paid by healthy businesses to provide much needed mortgage assistance, student loans, and effective municipal services.

    Lavender  was there to help build those relationships.

    Dietrich took the time to thank the Mayor for supporting the continuation of the Early Childhood and Family Education (ECFE) programming at Highland Park schools, paid for by state taxes. 

    Then, Dietrich and I, as a family, headed out to support some of those St Paul businesses.


originally published 27 May - 09 Jun, 2005
Lavender Magazine, v 11, no 260
Minneapolis, Minnesota
 

Focus on James Dobson

    One of our contributors, Jacob Reitan, recently was arrested while attending a protest against intolerance at the Colorado headquarters of Focus on the Family (FOTF).

    Personally, having been raised in the Evangelical tradition, I have long held Dr. James Dobson, the founder of FOTF, in high regard.

    In 1977, suspicious of both reason and science, many Evangelicals had lost the ability to incorporate the modern world and its new behavioral sciences into viable Bible-centered lifestyles, and needed Dobson's then - "new" focus to assist them.

     Dobson was effective in bringing sound child-development theories and mental-health issues to the attention of the Evangelical churches, an din providing essential family-counseling resources to church libraries and pastoral staffs.

    As Evangelicals, we sorely needed someone like Dobson to promote rational discussions within our congregations regarding emotions, sexuality, mental illness, and child development.

    A radical shift occurred in Dobson's ministry in 1982, however, when President Ronald Reagan appointed him to a special commission on pornography.

    To some observers, Dobson began to lose focus on his initial ministerial aims, spending an increasing amount of on-air time discussing politics, a trend that only worsened during the great abortion wars of the late '80s.

    By 2005, "Focus on the Family" more readily could have been called "Focus on Washington."

    Instead of teaching Christians how to incorporate up-to-date psychological and counseling principles into their spiritual and family lives, Dobson now seemed intent upon injecting his personal spiritual view into their politics.

    Where once we might have looked to him for help in understanding what it means to be a queer Christian or to have a gay child, he now simply informed us that gays do not fit his political agenda.

    Dobson gave up his former professionally objective position, and assumed a personal political stance.

    It is important to realize today, as we deal with FOTF as a political force, that Dobson still retains credibility with moderate Evangelicals because of that sorely needed assistance he once gave to them in their personal lives.

    The only way for Americans of every stripe to survive to present culture wars is for all sides to agree reasonably to disagree, and to honor that old American ideal:  freedom of (and from) personal religion.

    With this in mind, Dobson's ministry could become effective again by refocusing, this time away from politics, with a return to his original calling and vision.


originally published 13-26 May, 2005
Lavender Magazine, v 11, no 260
Minneapolis, Minnesota

A Fashion Statement

    IF YOU ARE going to celebrate summer fashions for others, you definitely should look the part, so Lavender is stepping out of the dressing room and onto the street with our own new look.

    We decided to go for something classic, something suggesting openness and approachability.  White seemed the answer, so we have gone back to basics -- creating more white space, bringing lightness and clarity to our pages, opening up our editorial content for easy interaction with our readers.

    Following the mantra "form follows function," we have dumped our old font for a more contemporary typeface, providing a greater clarity for our thoughts and a new sleekness to the reading experience.

    We now have two Contents pages.

    The first Contents page summarizes the issue's features.  We have pared down the number of features to include one major piece, and two or three smaller ones.

    The second Contents page lists regular columns, both local and syndicated, that bring a thought-provoking point of view to our readers.  The new descriptions after the column's title will make it easier for you to navigate through the issue.

    Where would we be without the proper color accessories, perfectly chosen to guide the eye to where it should go?

    The colored squares tell you which section each piece belongs to, so you may traipse at will throughout hte issue, knowing exactly where you are.

    Red is community dialogue; orange is commentary; yellow is arts and entertainment; blue is the bar scene; green is leisure and sports; purple is back talk.  Note also that the colors are now matched between our print editions and the Web site.

    The new "Queer as Folks" highlights those individuals and organizations that have come to our attention as queer role models, contributors to the GLBT community, or just intriguing people to note.

    We found that our readers wanted more news with less work, so we have revamped the "Lavender Wire" to include just the essentials -- a greater overview of news with less detail.

    We will have more frequent fashion features, which take advantage of our new glossy paper with more use of photography, color, and the natural beauty of people.

    Finding it impossible to fit everything into the print edition, we have upgraded the calendar on our Web site at <222.lavendermagazine.com> to include more events, as well as local sports schedules and statistics.  It will be updated on an on-going basis.

    A look ahead:  Not only will our June 10 Collector's Pride Edition be larger, more colorful, and more informative than ever, but also it will spotlight the exciting new columnists and sections to be introduced to our pages in upcoming months, including gay parenting, financial planning, and legal advice.


originally published 13-26 May, 2005
Lavender Magazine, v 11, no 260
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Rights and Responsibilities of Pet Spouses

    Spring is unquestionably my favorite season in Minnesota.  The weather is near-perfect; the mosquitoes have yet to hatch; and all the world is outdoors in the warming sun.  It is the time to dig out our softball equipment, to oil up our inline-skates, and to think about adopting the perfect pet.

    Cute, cuddly, faithful, and attentive to our every mood, pets offer us unconditional love, constant companionship, and a sense of security.

   

    On bright summer days, they energize us to go forth and greet the world, while on grayer days, they make good listeners, never failing to take our side, no matter how outrageous or inane our behavior.

    But, realizing that I travel far too frequently to tend to a pet adequately, I have arrived at a mature decision:  I need to be around long enough to form an adult relationship with another rperson before I endeavor to adopt a pet.

    Yes, pet ownership is healthy and desirable, but as the local Humane Society can point out, taking responsibility for a pet is a big step, a larger task than most of us realize.  Before you adopt, you need to be ready for the downside.

   

    I have had many friends who have found they lack the time, finances, or maturity to provide for their pet’s needs properly.

    Human relationships have their responsibilities as well.  They have their downs as well as their ups.

    In our current rush to pursue queer-marriage rights, we need to be aware of the same considerations.

    We agree that the queer community is ready for legalized marriage commitments, but “adopting” a spouse can make pet issues pale in comparison.  We need to identify clearly our moral and legal obligations before we pursue this human responsibility.

    Are we ready for the consequences:  divorce, alimony payments to ex-lovers, ambiguous common-law arrangements, and expensive settlement agreements?

    Do our “open-though-committed” relationships then become bigamous, polygamous, or simply adulterous?

    Should extramarital lovers be granted certain rights and recognitions?

    Should a “friend with benefits” be granted visiting rights to the cat?

    Certain gay-marriage opponents already have set their sights on the concept of no-fault divorce. L You could be stuck forever with that person you picked up at the bar – or that person with you.

    Marriage should be seen as fun and enjoyable – an arrangement to be desired.

    Just remember that when you enter into a legal commitment with someone, you cannot just shut the door on responsibility and walk away.

Original published 29 April – 12 May, 2005

Lavender Magazine, v 10 No 259

Minneapolis, Minnesota

OutFront Minnesota's Lobbying Day

    Attending OutFront Minnesota’s GLBT Lobby Day at the State Capitol was a great first assignment as Managing Editor at Lavender.

    Beautiful weather, visionary speakers, old friends, and a good cause combined for a successful rally, as thousands of queers and their friends prepared to engage their legislators in dialogue regarding the effect potential legislative decisions might have on our lives and basic civil rights.

    I was glad to be part of this community again.

    Dialogue and community are two inter-related concepts, each meaningless without the other.

    I reflected on this relationship last fall, when I had to decide whether to change my residency to Montana, where I had returned for family business.

    At the time, petitions were being circulated in Montana to bring up for referendum a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage.

    Certain home-schooling advocates were fighting for the right to pull their children out of public schools – in part to prevent them from being exposed to the “institutionalized normalization of the GLBT lifestyle.”

    As a taxpayer, they wanted me to be a part of their community, but as a gay person, they would tolerate me only if I remained silent and pulled out of the active communal experience.

    I realized that my Minnesota driver’s license not only represented better shopping and access to a full-scale symphony orchestra, but also entitled me to participate fully in active dialogue with my community, without fear, and without having to negotiate away my basic rights.

    While queers in Minnesota are not yet able to marry, they do have the rights to adopt children, enter into political discourse without fear of reprisal, be treated with dignity and acceptance in public schools, not be discriminated against in the workplace, and, in certain jurisdictions, register civil family arrangements publicly.

    Regrettably, Minnesota is the exception rather than the rule.  The strength of our rights hinges on our participation in each election, and on our ability to maintain an active dialogue with the broader community.

    So, I am back in Minnesota, and while being Managing Editor might be taking the concept of dialogue a bit far, I am relieved to have an opportunity to work within a community that shares my concerns; values me for who I am; and maintains the active tradition of dialogue necessary for communicating, addressing, and protecting our common interests as a proud GLBT community.

Originally published 15-28 April, 2005, v 10 no 258

Lavender Magazine

Minneapolis, Minnesota